6 Hard-hitting Truths that Every Leader Needs to Face
Leadership is not all that sexy, after all
As flashy and fun as it might seem from the outside, leadership can be daunting and challenging.
Once you take on a leadership position, you need to confront a number of uncomfortable, hard-hitting truths in order to be effective in that role.
And the sooner you embrace these truths, the more effective you can be as a leader.
In this post, I will discuss 6 Hard-hitting Truths that Every Leader Needs to Face.
Truth #1 — Accountability Starts with You
I was once in a project status meeting with other managers.
We were reviewing the list of projects that were ‘red’ (i.e, delayed), and one of the managers was trying to justify the delay in his project by attributing that to one of his ‘low-performing’ team members. Have you seen that happen before?
What this manager didn’t realize was how poorly it was reflecting on him, as he was ultimately responsible for not just the project delivery, but also the performance of his team members. If there were poor performers on his team, why wasn’t this issue addressed earlier?
“With great power comes great responsibility” — Proverb
As a leader, the buck starts and stops with you.
You are ultimately responsible and accountable for the outcomes and performance of your team or your organization.
No matter how challenging the goals, or how unfavorable the circumstances may have been, you are accountable for the outcome. Blaming external factors or even team members for failures or setbacks will only reflect poorly on your leadership.
You need to make sure you have all your ducks in a row and are taking appropriate actions to ensure that you and your organization deliver against your goals.
And if you falter, have the courage to stand up and point the finger at yourself.
I know that was a rough start, but you have five more of these bitter pills to swallow. Ready for the next one?
Truth #2 — Your Success Depends on Others
Remember the manager who wouldn’t stop listing down their own accomplishments, and completely ignore their team?
I’ve certainly found many such managers through my career and across organizations. These managers forget that they are ultimately the face and voice of their team, and that they cannot decouple themselves from the accomplishments — or failures — of their team.
“Great things in business are never done by one person. They’re done by a team of people.” — Steve Jobs
As a leader, you cannot decouple yourself from your team. If you are egotistic and focused solely on yourself, you may be able to climb the corporate ladder to some extent, but sooner or later, imposter syndrome will catch up with you.
Your success as a leader is nothing but a representation of the success of your team. You need to acknowledge and value their efforts, and if they do well, you will, too. In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in Leadership, I discussed how belonging and recognition are critical needs for the growth of your organization.
As a practice, you should use We more than I when you share stories of accomplishment. And use I more than We when you are taking accountability for failures.
Simple, but powerful.
Truth #3 — Not Everyone Will Like You
Early on in my career when I made decisions, I would think hard about how I could keep everyone on my team happy. I was a people pleaser.
When distributing compensation and bonus payouts I would try to spread the rewards so as not to piss anyone off. They call it peanut butter spreading in corporate lingo.
However, I soon realized that it was impossible to please everyone, and the entire strategy I was trying to implement was flawed. As a leader, I needed to make the decision that was right for the organization. Period.
“Don’t be afraid of losing people, but be afraid of losing yourself trying to make everyone happy.” — Naguib Mahfouz
As someone has said, if you try to please everyone, you will end up pleasing no one.
“Being nice” has received a lot of bad rap in the past few decades, and for good reason. As a leader, your job is to make decisions that are right for the business, and most decisions involve tradeoffs that are liked by some and disliked by others.
You need to accept that not everyone will like or agree with you, and you need to be conscious of any biases that might be impacting your decision-making. In 5 Quick and Easy Ways to Earn Respect As A Leader, we discussed how giving credit where it’s due is key to earning respect.
What I can tell you is this: if you build a reputation for making the right decisions, no matter how tough, you will eventually earn the respect of your teams and organization. So, they may not agree with you, or like you, but they sure will respect you.
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Truth #4 — Conflict is Inevitable
Recently I was having a conversation with a manager who was sharing how proud she was of her team’s morale and engagement based on the recent employee engagement survey results.
She said her team had “never” had a conflict, and that she had been telling them that having conflicts is a “bad thing”.
What she was essentially doing was making it hard for conflicts to surface. But guess what - that didn’t mean they didn’t exist. In fact, they were probably the elephants in the room.
“Conflict is inevitable in any workplace, but it is how we navigate and resolve it that defines our success.” — Unknown
Just like a pigeon cannot make the approaching cat disappear by closing its eyes, a leader cannot make a conflict disappear by avoiding it. Doing so will only exacerbate the underlying issues, and make it harder to resolve them later.
In The 6 Skills You Need to Become a Strategic Leader, we discussed how systems analysis and mental agility play a key role in the overall health of your team.
As a leader, you need to accept that conflicts are a natural part of team dynamics. You should actively mine for conflicts, and encourage your teams to raise key issues by creating a safe environment where the issues can be discussed and handled objectively.
Once you start doing this, you will see most conflicts appear naturally, and eventually dissipate just like any other problem at hand.
Truth #5 — You Don’t Have All The Answers
Some managers I have worked with over the years have unrealistic expectations of themselves. I used to do the same when I became a manager for the first time.
Whether it is a technical problem, a management challenge, or even a one-off question at a team meeting — I would feel the pressure, the nagging urge, to have all the answers simply because I was in a leadership position.
“Leadership is not about having all the answers. It’s about asking the right questions.” — Unknown
In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Leaders, we discussed how being authentic plays a critical role in building rapport and trust in a team.
As a leader, you don’t need to know the solutions to every problem thrown at you. You need to be okay with saying “I don’t know” and be willing to seek input from others to find the solution.
When it comes to problem-solving, you need to see your role as a facilitator or a participant, just like anyone else on your team.
Doing this will not only ease you off that pressure of being a know-it-all, but it will also lead to better outcomes.
Truth #6 — Your Legacy Is Defined By Actions, Not Intentions
A company I used to work with ran bi-annual Employee Engagement Surveys to take a pulse check on how the larger employee population was feeling across many dimensions.
After the survey results were out, the managers would share the results with their teams, along with the action plan to address the opportunities. However, what I noticed was that most managers simply shared their action plans but failed to take concrete actions. This was evident as the same opportunities emerged repeatedly in the subsequent surveys.
“Your actions will always speak volumes louder than your words ever will.” — G Swiss
It’s great to be well-intentioned, but what really demonstrates your seriousness towards those intentions is the actions you take on the ground.
As they say, vision without action is just a dream.
As a leader, you can share your intentions and your plans with your teams all you want. But what the team (and your leadership) will remember you for is your actions — what concrete steps you took, decisions you made, and changes you drove — that led to the success of the organization.
In The 3 Stages of Communication in Leadership, we discussed how Influence is the highest stage of communication due to its ability to propel action and drive change. The most effective leaders lead with a sense of urgency, and are razor focused on delivering tangible results.
In Summary: 6 Hard-hitting Truths That Every Leader Needs to Face
Leadership is usually seen as a fancy role that holds the promise of visibility and popularity that many are looking for.
However, the reality is that leadership is hard, and for good reason.
In this post, we discussed six hard-hitting truths that every leader needs to face, sooner or later:
Accountability Starts with You. You are ultimately accountable for the successes and failures of your organization. Blaming external factors or circumstances for failures will reflect poorly on your leadership.
Your Success Depends on Others. Rather than justifying failures or taking credit for successes, you should take ownership of your failures and give your team credit for the successes.
Not Everyone Will Like You. As a leader, you should focus on doing what is right for the organization, and that would involve making unpopular decisions that not everyone will like.
Conflict is Inevitable. Don’t run away from — or ignore — conflicts, because they are a natural part of team dynamics. As a leader, you should actively mine for conflicts, and create an environment where conflicts surface naturally and are addressed timely.
You Don’t Have All The Answers. Rather than trying to problem-solve everything, you should acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers, and be authentic and vulnerable. This will foster trust, belonging, and innovation.
Your Legacy is Defined by Actions, not Intentions. You may have the best intentions, but they are only useful if they are supported by concrete actions on the ground. You should lead with a sense of urgency with a focus on delivering results.
Sooner or later you will face these truths in your roles as leaders, so go ahead and embrace them with open arms and multiply your effectiveness as a leader.
Which of these truths hit hardest? Let me know in the comments! 👇
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Totally agree. I managed the employee engagement survey process for my employer, for over a decade. Sharing team results with the team is essential but so is doing something about those results.
I'd share the data for each question and ask, 'in an ideal world, what would need to happen for you to click 'agree' (or 'disagree') for this question'.
The process was 1. survey, 2. feedback, 3. action to remedy areas of low engagement, 4. communication about what had been done.
Communicating action taken is important.
People quickly forget the details of surveys and often don't realize that changes are as a result of an engagement survey.
Knowing that action will be taken on comments and results means that more employees will complete the employee engagement survey next time.
How leaders handle conflict says a lot about the organization’s climate. If leaders choose to ignore issues, sweep them under the rug, or punish those who raise legitimate concerns, it’s a major red flag. It often points to deeper systemic problems and a culture that prioritizes compliance over accountability and growth—especially if this behavior is common across management.